Love… The holy grail… The thing we all spend our lives looking for, sometimes finding, sometimes losing but eternally hopeful that it will be forever when we so finally find it.
I’m one of the lucky ones. I found my love (as sick making as that sounds) in the form of my husband Danny 9 years ago, I asked him the other day when he knew he loved me and he said ” I knew almost straight away, we just clicked didn’t we”. Which is really true and like all those other billions of people out there I plan for it to be forever, so its important to keep working at it.
So by the power of Google I came across an article entitled “How to Stay in Love and Keep Your Relationship Strong” written by someone called brittanyc. I really loved this article and the bit in particular was surrounding communication.
“About girls, for the guys: you may think we talk about anything and everything, so how possibly could we have trouble communicating. The truth is, we fear rejection and being alone more than the average guy does. The result is that most girls will talk about everything except what’s bothering them most, out of fear of our significant other leaving us or being angry with us.
The cure: Reassure her that you love her, and will not leave her over a fight or relationship issue. At this point, your love should be strong enough to withstand most things, bickering and fighting included. Tell her that all long relationships have fights, and the most important thing is solving problems, so as not to build up resentment and damage the relationship.
Do not: Tell her she is being irrational for her fears of you leaving. While we know that you mean it in a reassuring sense, that you would never leave her over something so insignificant, she takes it to mean that you don’t respect her opinions or emotions, and think she’s a silly little girl. Her emotions, while probably irrational, are still true, and as such are valid. Treat her with the respect she deserves.
About guys, for the girls: Guys feel a constant pressure to perform and compete, and they constantly feel like their ladies are judging them. If they’re with you, they think you’re the most beautiful, most amazing thing under the sun, but they have trouble constantly reaffirming their affection. To them, what’s true is true, and does not need to be constantly addressed.
The cure: Tell them what you want from them. Guys hate guessing games and are not very good at them. If you want something for Valentine’s day, have a heart and at least give them some hints, like, “I want flowers, but I want you to pick out what you would most think I would like, and not roses like everyone gets.” Praise them, and tell them how much you enjoy it whenever they do something unexpected for you, so they don’t have to constantly wonder if you enjoyed what they did, and if they should do it again.
Do not: expect them to constantly be thinking about you, every second of the day. The fact that they love you, to them, is so obvious that it doesn’t need constant reassessment. Also, girls communicate so much more non-verbally than guys do, but you’ve got to open your mouth and speak if you want to communicate with your boyfriend/husband. They hardly ever realize something is wrong unless you tell them.”
No wonder love can be one of the most beautiful but also most painful things to experience in the world! She thinks one thing he thinks another, phew its confusing even to think about it! It’s why you have to work at it to make it good.
So if it’s hard work, sometimes painful, hard to find and can be lost why do we bother???
Well the answer is simple. Love is one of the most powerful things in the world. It can transform a once ordinary smile into one that brightens up your day, it can make you feel hopeful in even the most hopeless of situations and best of all you can feel loved by the smallest of gestures. No wonder we all crave and search for it.
Anyway gushy love related post over, Im feeling the love at the moment (after our 2 year wedding anniversary on Tuesday maybe its just in the air) and wanted to get you thinking about it too 🙂